Ms. K's Experience
Thursday, June 19, 2008 at 12:09PM
What Got One Young Girl Through Living With Her Mother's Alcoholism There are people who think that when I was born, that I was a born survivor because was born with a rare heart conditon (for 1973). I was born a few weeks early with a hole in my heart, and the doctors in the Army hospital gave me less then 11 days to live. My dad told me I didnt act like a premie with a heart condition; I would grab his fingers when he put his hands in the incubator I was in and try to pull myself up. Growing up was pretty normal for me; my dad was in the military, so we moved around alot (in Alaska I tried to go play at a playground in the snow in a dress with no shoes, socks or coat on), and I fought with my brothers alot too. My brothers and I saw our parents argue alot, but we kind of ignored it and went on playing, we thought that was normal parent stuff since we saw other kid's parents fight too, and it was sometimes on tv. When I was 8 or 9 there was a huge chunk of time my mom was gone, but my dad was around more since he was now in the reserve and took us to movies and etc alot, but when we did see our mom there was a difference in her, I didnt understand til years later when my dad told me she had ovarion cancer around that time and had to have a hysterectomy; which my dad said in a way stripped her of the woman we knew; she became dark and pushed us away more. When I was around 10 my brothers (then aged 12 & 8) and I knew there was something not right with our parents, but kind of ignored it because of the trip to disneyland. Disneyland was sort of fun for me; though my first day there my mom put me in a green wool sailor suit (skirt and top) and I almost passed out from the heat, and the rest of my time she wouldnt let me go on any rides cause she was afraid I'd die if I went on any fast rides. Soon after that we moved from Everett WA (where we had lived since I was 4) to Bothell, WA. Within a year my parents seperated and divorced, but my mom also developed a very weird obsession with appearance and perfectionism...but I think she had that before we moved but we didnt notice it much then. We moved back to Everett when I was around 12, and things didnt seem too weird, except sometime within the school year my mom got rid of all my toys, and told me I was too old for them (probably because I developed early, I dont know why). Then summer came, and thats when things changed. We moved to a different apartment in the same complex, and my mom started going out to bars. But I remember clearly the moment I knew my life would change, is when I was getting ready to go babysit for a neighbor and I knocked on my moms bedroom door to tell her something; she told me to come in and I saw a man that wasnt my dad in her bed and it shook me to the core. I practically ran out of the house. My sense of right and wrong would surely be tested for the next 3 yrs, and so would the things my dad taught me on how to take care of myself and observe my surroundings. It was my middle school counselor Mrs Ryder that noticed first off there was something wrong. She said she noticed it the first day of school, I was wearing dark clothes. I went from bright and happy to gloom and doom. She would weekly sit me in her office until I would talk. One time she tried to call CPS, but my moms boyfriend lied and said they werent home and I heard about it when I got home in a not-so-good way. So Mrs Ryder helped me find ways to get help. I went to Alateen meetings as much as I could, and I went out more often with friends, and I got into different kinds of hobbies. And thankfully my mom sent me to my aunt Laurie's to get me out of the house as often as she could. My aunt was another confidaunt, but she focused on keeping me busy; she taught me how to do crafts to keep myself busy and shed take me out shopping at 2am (on days she'd work til then). Around that time I got close to our next door neighbor Merry and her daughter Erika (there were a few other neighbors, like Kelly, who became safe heavens for me too, people knew about my mom, but they didnt know what to do). Merry in a way became like a second mom to me, and became protective of me. I started writing poetry when I was 13 1/2, and I would draw as much as I could, it became my refuge when I couldnt leave (I eventually threw my poetry book at my mom one day when she said what she was doing was not effecting us). I knew there was a god, I just didnt really know him, I only knew what I heard around christmas time and I would pray when I could (my mom never allowed us to go to church for some reason). After I turned 15, and almost 6 months after Merry died I think I had had enough and I told my mom off like never before, and that was the last day we were together. I ended up at my aunt's that night. After getting out of the shower that night and looking myself in the mirror I only had one thought "I have no marks". It would be years later while watching touched by an angel that I knew why...God had sent an angel to cover me. After about a month at my aunts, I went to go live with my dad. I think I knew I'd be ok when I did everything in my power to get him to hit me because my mom had taught me that was love, and all he did was wrap his arms around me and held me til I stopped pushing away and told me over and over again he loved me and he'd never hurt me. It took me years to let go of my anger, and to forgive my mother, but somehow I did it. And I found a man that understands me, and I have children that I adore. In high school my counselor got me into a group called ACOA (it was first Adult Children of Alcoholics, but became Adult Children of Addiction) and it was in that goup that I actualy admited that my mom was an alcoholic, when I was too afraid before. It was the school counselors, friends, neighbors, what my dad taught me, my bothers, and music that got me through everything....and all those 80's shows and cartoons. I thank my dad for the guidance and love he taught me, my school counselors Mrs Ryder & Mrs Harris, for their encouragement and never giving up on me, my aunts Cathy & Laurie & family friends Merry and her daughter Erika van Scheels for their unconditional love and support, my high school creative writing teacher Kay Powers for helping me put my feelings on paper like I had never done before..and countless friends who were there for me. Poetry: 
My name is Krista Hirt but the kids I work with call me Ms. K.
Krista, Age 8
Family Portrait
Hereditary Madness
My Father, My Hero
Never Goodbye
Secret Dreams
Sitting at the Edge of the Abyss
Contacting Mrs. K
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Email: topzkat73@gmail.om
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